In Gottman’s book “The Seven Principles for Making a Marriage work” he talks about the importance of friendship in a marriage. He says, “ …happy marriages are based on a deep friendship. By this I mean a mutual respect for and enjoyment of each other’s company. These couples tend to know each other intimately- they are well versed in each other’s likes, dislikes, personality quirks, hopes and dreams. They have an abiding regard for each other and express this fondness not just in the big ways but through small gestures day in and day out.” These things that Gottman mentions in this paragraph are what really make a marriage work. When we get married we are essentially saying that we chose that person to be the one person that we want to share our entire lives with. In order for this to work this person has to your best friend. The person you marry should be the person you want to be with the most. You should enjoy being together. You should have fun together and you need to respect each other. When you are dating that is the time to really get to know the person. When you are dating someone do it with your eyes wide open. Dating is the time to decide if the persons odd quirks are something you love or if they just drive you crazy. Do you guys agree on the important things like having children, being a stay at home mom, or both of you working? Dating is the time to find all this out. Being in love with someone is important but we also need to like the person. There has to more than just physical attraction in a relationship. A friendship must be developed. The deeper the friendship the deeper the bond between the couple will be. Through friendship is how our love and respect for our spouse will grow. When we genuinely love and respect our spouse we will want to serve them, and care for them. When disagreements come along you are able to talk them through and listen and try to understand each other’s perspective. If we are married to our best friend then we will be happy to put their happiness over your own and they will do the same. Make your spouse your best friend and have fun together. Marriage should be enjoyed and celebrated! How do you make your marriage more enjoyable?
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